Yesterday was great: very hot, but not too many jobs. I spent half an hour waiting for jobs sitting on Tower Bridge, and again in Sloane Square. Getting paid - although not much - to cycle around in the sunshine!

Yet I still feel very sad, broken, down, despite having made my life better. I still wake up shaking. I haven't fixed myself, and I don't know how to.

luckyjimm

I had the best weekend I can remember.

Saturday was my 30th birthday. I woke early and was at the Gutshot for 5.45am playing $0.50/$1, since I currently have no Internet connection at home. I lost £75 in short order, reloaded for another £50 and worked that up to £305 on the same table before quitting £180 up.

I met my parents for lunch at a gastropub near my flat. They gave me cards and presents, and photos of me cutting the cakes my mother had made at my 3rd and...

luckyjimm

I spent Friday cycling under glorious sunshine.
I was mostly around Soho, Mayfair, Victoria and Knightsbridge, though I did go up to Mornington Crescent at one point.

I had wondered whether I ever carried anything of value. Well, I took a box from a high-end jewellers on Sloane Street to some place in Mayfair. When I got there I found it was a watch repairers. The guy gave me another box to give back, obviously containing a repaired watch, no doubt costing many months...

luckyjimm

Ah, a heatwave! This week I've cycled under a clear blue sky. On Tuesday I wore a t-shirt and I now have sunburnt arms, neck and face, like a bus driver. The next day I wore long sleeves to protect my arms. I can feel myself getting stronger and fitter, and cycling faster and more confidently.

On the way home I cycle past the Duke of York pub up the road from the Gutshot where dozens of cycle couriers hang. I wouldn't dare join them, not for months, if ever. They look like couriers....

luckyjimm

So, my future posts will appear here, at:

http://www.gutshot.com/bforum/blog.php?u=16387

Here are my old posts from mid-January to the beginning of May:

1 And so it begins
http://www.gutshot.com/articles/view.php?id=1324

2 A good week
http://www.gutshot.com/articles/view.php?id=1327&a=108

3 Phony affection
http://www.gutshot.com/articles/view.php?id=1328&a=108

4 Hidden lives...

luckyjimm